How to Tackle Eating out of Boredom
First: It’s normal!
Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash
A common dilemma that comes up in my sessions with clients is the feeling that they often eat when they’re bored. While our culture sees this as a massive moral failing or a lack of discipline, the reality is, more often than not, way more nuanced. If you struggle with feeling like you’re eating out of boredom, here are 3 steps to take to better understand it:
Ask yourself if there is a chance you could be hungry.
Yes, you will find that this is a common first stop in many of my posts troubleshooting these issues that so often get pointed at a lack of “willpower.” But seriously, it’s a pit stop worth taking because sometimes you are! Ask yourself if it’s been a few hours since you last ate, if you felt satisfied/full with your last meal/snack, OR if your energy needs are naturally higher today? (Check out this post with common sneaky hunger scenarios)
If you realize that there’s a good chance a snack is needed, have one and see how you feel. If not, move on to #2.
Check-in with how you’re feeling & identify what you need (if you can)
Like it or not, food is a coping mechanism - often it’s our first-ever coping mechanism as babies. We turn to it to soothe ourselves during difficult times. And that is OK. I happen to think that it’s even healthy. So if you suspect emotions are the cause, take a moment, maybe set a 3-minute timer, and check in with your mind/body. Do you feel anxious? Sad? Frustrated? Happy? Exhausted? A mix of everything? Note it and ask yourself how you can caretake that emotion/feeling specifically. If you’re tired, maybe try dimming the lights and lying down. If you’re recognizing you’re knee-deep in a shame spiral, consider calling a supportive friend. Give yourself time to try something and then check in again.
Satisfy the need without removing food as a possible solution
Here’s the big thing: if you threaten to remove food as a potential coping mechanism - this will activate the scarcity mindset in your brain. While I cannot possibly fully address the scarcity mindset here (more on that in a future post), just know that when our brain senses that food will be restricted either physically or mentally, it sends out messages urging you to have that food now before it’s gone. So when we talk about exploring alternative ways of coping with emotions or feelings, food must remain a part of the toolkit. Because scarcity will override everything in the end - it is, after all, what has been responsible for keeping us alive for centuries.
How do you put that into practice? Consider doing a task or engaging in a coping skill and checking in to see if food is still on your mind. If it is, build yourself a plate or bowl with intention and permission. And then sit down to enjoy it fully and move on with your day.